Advising Adolescents

Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adulthood which can range from ages eleven, up till about seventeen. It is also one of the stages of child development that most parents struggle with.

Parenting is not an easy task and as the years go by it gets more complicated. All of a sudden you go from putting plasters on cuts to boyfriends and peer pressure. As parents new to the adolescent world, we struggle with how to approach teenage love, insecurities, bodily changes and helping children to figure it all out.

Here is a brief guide to help you survive your child’s adolescent years.

Rule #1: Ask as many questions as you possibly can, then ask some more!
Make sure that you know what’s going on in your child’s school, personal and possibly “love life”. Talk to teachers, relatives and your child to see how they are coping. It’s your job to be informed about the major issues in your child’s life and to be there to support them when necessary.

Rule #2: Create a trusting bond
Relax when talking to your child. Especially when concerning sensitive issues. Children need to know they can talk to you. Make occasional jokes and encourage them to share “stories”. Ask them questions about what they like and don’t like. It’s important to know what’s important to them and what they look for in friends and people they crush on. If you guide them through their development they will be more likely to hold high morals and standards.

Rule #3: Provide someone else they can trust.
Let’s face it no matter how great your relationship is with your child there are some things that they won’t talk to you about. You must ensure who they are talking to is someone who will give them the correct information. Make responsible mentors available to your child. Get involved in church groups and/or programs that will provide them with opportunities to talk with individuals they may better connect with on certain subjects. Ensure that you know who they are talking to and that the person will encourage your child to come to you in urgent or critical situations.

Rule #4: Encourage Building Self-esteem, Identity and Confidence
Building your child’s self esteem is important from the time they are born. People’s self identity is hugely influenced by their perception is of how others see them. As a parent, your job is to make sure that as many positive aspects of your child’s personality are highlighted. Encourage them to explore their talents, interests and creativity. A solid foundation of confidence and positive self identity will be key in your child’s decision making, especially when facing inevitable peer pressures.

Rule #5: Teach them about Sex and their Bodies
Ask questions to gauge what your child knows, or what they “think they know” about sex and their bodies. Talk to you kids calmly and openly giving them age appropriate information. When you believe they are mature enough, talk to them about the risks involved in having sex. Teach them to be aware of their bodies, their behaviour and how they dress. Let them know that these things all communicate specific messages about themselves. Enforce high morals and standards and the appropriate manner in which people should be treated. Also teach them about various types of abuse and how to recognize it.

Rule #6: Enforce Discipline
Despite all the love patience and understanding necessary as a parent we must not allow it to prevent adequate discipline. Reinforcing discipline is part and parcel of raising responsible children. Let your child know the boundaries and reinforce consequences for bad behaviour. Your budding teenager is very likely to rebel. Re-assess your previous disciplinary methods and seek support if uncertain. Above all never doubt your instinct. As a parent you will always pick up when something is just not right. Overall remember to be firm, consistent, calm and loving in whatever discipline methods you choose.

There are no set rules to raising children, there are only guidelines for healthy child development. Millions of influences surround your child. Make sure that your voice gets heard and that you and your child have developed a trustworthy and healthy relationship.

Kids In Need of Direction works hard to provide parenting workshops, counselling and other various forms of support for the underprivileged families of Trinidad and Tobago.

For more child development articles and information on how you can support KIND, please visit us at http://www.kindkids.net/ or call us at 626-KIND (5463) or 626-NEED (6333)

Universalist Concept of Legal rights and Ethics

This week we ask ourselves “What are human rights?”
Dictionaries define human rights as a Universalist concept of legal rights and ethics. Unfortunately most people are unaware of their human rights. Today I will give you some insight into these rights and show you how you can learn more information about the Human Rights that we are all entitled to.

On December 10th 1948 a group of nations known as the General Assembly of the United Nations decided upon what was to be the Universalist concept of legal rights and ethics. It was then published, and is now known as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Today states are obligated to respect, protect and follow the thirty Human Rights that are listed under the declaration

Below is a sample of five of the thirty listed;

• All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
  
• Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
  
• No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.
  
• No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
  
• Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

According to Universal Declaration of Human Rights official website posted by the United Nations (www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/) “The General Assembly of the United Nations called upon all member countries to adopt the declaration and "to cause it to be disseminated, displayed, read and expounded principally in schools and other educational institutions, without distinction based on the political status of countries or territories.”

So get to know your Human Rights!

For a full listing of the thirty stated rights log on to Universal Declaration of Human Rights website; http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/ or check out the following website for more information:

Human Rights.com visual aid- http://www.humanrights.com/#/home

Human Rights Watch - http://www.hrw.org/

Help KIND fulfil the basic needs and rights of our underprivileged children in Trinidad & Tobago by Sponsoring a Child to Learn.

Contact us at 868-626-KIND (5463) OR 868-626–NEED (6333)
Or visit us at http://www.kindkids.net/ for more information

Sponsor A Child to Learn Today !

Youth Violence and the Kids In Need of Direction

As the murder toll climbs to 70 murders in 54 days of 2010, crime and violence continues to be a growing concern amongst the Citizens of Trinidad and Tobago. The newspapers alone, can tell you that people are being robbed, assaulted and murdered every day, sometimes for nothing more than a pair of shoes.

Taking a deeper look into the various aspects of these brutal crimes, we observe that the majority of these acts of violence are being performed by young adults between the ages of 15 to 27.

We have to ask ourselves, “Why has Trinidad and Tobago’s youth become so violent?”

There is no question in my mind why these children are becoming more violent and less concerned about consequences. The dysfunction is merely a symptom of the breaking down of family, community and moral standards. Children are responding by how they are socialized.

In today’s poverty stricken families, children are often left to fend for themselves without being provided with the primary needs for health development. Consistent parenting and guidance is necessary especially for children being raised in high risk environments.

Many parents are forced to go to work and leave children at home since they can’t afford the basic necessities to send them to school. Children left alone without supervision become idle and can become negatively influenced by things around them such as gangs.

Due to the common break down of social structure found in many deprived communities, these children also fall victim to various types of abuse. Child abuse is common in such circumstances and can derive from parents and/or family members who themselves abuse drugs, alcohol or other illicit substances or simply lack the education and/or emotional support needed to provide proper parenting.

How do we help these children?

Many parents and their children seek a different way of life but do not know where to start. Most of them have little or no education and some cannot read or write. They need guidance from the ground up, starting with obtaining a proper education as well as emotional and financial support.

Kids In Need of Direction (KIND) is a charitable organization that bases its foundation on providing these basic needs.Underprivileged children and their families are provided with the tools and guidance necessary for progress towards a better life.

For more information on how you can help contact us at 626-KIND (5463) or 626-NEED (6333) or visit our website http://www.kindkids.net/.